For families raising young children with special needs, everyday life can require extra planning. A trip to the grocery store, a visit to the library or getting out the door in the morning may not feel simple when a child needs more time, preparation or support to move through the day.
Jessica Bone, Senior Director of Child Wellness at ECS4Kids, joined The Kids’ Table, an ECS4Kids podcast, to share practical strategies parents and caregivers can use at home, at school and in the community. Jessica leads ECS4Kids’ Child Wellness Department, which supports mental health, behavior intervention, health and nutrition, and child disabilities. Her work focuses on helping adults understand the whole child, including the routines, relationships and environments that shape how children learn, communicate and grow.
“The way they interpret the world is not quite the same. And that’s okay. But it does require some adjusting,” Jessica says.
Why Daily Routines Can Feel Different
Young children are still learning how the world works. For children from birth to age 5, many routines are new. They are learning what comes next, how to transition, how to communicate and how to respond when something changes.
For children with special needs, those routines can come with added challenges. A routine that feels ordinary to an adult may feel overwhelming to a child who needs more structure, more time or a clearer understanding of what is about to happen.
Jessica explains that adults can support children by meeting them where they are and preparing them for what comes next.
“It may not feel so typical because it requires adjusting, it requires planning and it requires meeting the child where they’re at,” Jessica says.
That adjustment can help a child feel safer, calmer and more prepared for the day.
Using Visual Schedules to Build Predictability
One helpful tool is a visual schedule. A parent might show a child pictures of the day’s routine: breakfast, the car, the library and the next activity. These can be real photos of the child’s car, the local library or the child standing at the doorway.
The goal is to help the child understand the plan before they are expected to move through it.
“They may need a visual schedule to know, ‘okay, after breakfast, we get in the car. After we’re in the car, we’re going to the librar,’” Jessica says.
When children can see what is coming next, they may feel more grounded. Visual schedules can also help reduce stress for the adult because the child has a clearer path through the day.
Predictability is important, but real life is not always predictable. Plans change. Children have hard days. Parents have hard days too.
Behavior Is Communication
When challenging behaviors happen, Jessica encourages parents to begin with one important idea: behavior is communication.
A tantrum, running away, grabbing a toy or refusing to transition may be a child’s way of communicating a need they cannot yet express clearly.
The first step is not blame. The first step is curiosity.
Jessica says, “The first point is trying to figure out ‘what does my child need right now? What are they trying to communicate?’”
Jessica explains that when adults view behavior through that lens, they can better understand what a child may need in the moment.
Parents may not always be able to answer that question alone. That is okay. Therapists, behavior intervention staff, mental health professionals and other specialists can help families understand what may be happening beneath the behavior and identify strategies that support the child more effectively.
What Are Transition Warnings?
One practical strategy Jessica discusses is a transition warning.
A transition warning helps prepare a child before moving from one activity to another. Adults use these warnings all the time. For example, “We need to leave the house in five minutes.”
“You may not have heard the term, but you’ve definitely experienced a transition warning in your life,” Jessica says.
For young children, and especially for children with special needs, those warnings can be even more important.
Imagine a child who loves playing with blocks. If blocks are their favorite activity, being told to stop suddenly and move to the playground may feel upsetting or overwhelming. A transition warning gives the child time to prepare.
Jessica gives a practical example: tell the child they have five more minutes, use a clock or timer, count down and show them what comes next on a visual schedule.
That kind of preparation can help children move through transitions with less stress. It can also make daily life easier for adults, whether the transition is happening in a classroom, at home or in the community.
Understanding Co-Regulation
Another important strategy Jessica discusses is co-regulation.
Children learn how to manage emotions from the adults around them. Jessica describes the adult as the thermostat. The adult helps set the emotional temperature.
“As the adult, you’re the thermostat and you are setting the temperature that your child will regulate to,” Jessica says.
When a child is upset and the adult becomes upset too, it can be harder for the child to calm down. But when the adult takes a deep breath and models calm, the child is more likely to follow.
That does not mean parents will always feel calm. It means parents can learn what helps them regulate so they can better support their child.
A calm adult presence can help a child move through a difficult moment, whether that is leaving the library, stopping a preferred activity or handling disappointment.
When Common Strategies Are Not Working
Even strong strategies do not work the same way for every child.
Jessica acknowledges how discouraging it can feel when a parent tries routines, visual schedules, transition warnings or other tools and they still do not seem to help.
“That is so discouraging, right? You might invest some time in listening to a podcast like today and try all of these strategies and feel they’re not successful. If you’re feeling that way, it’s really a time to open up and get some support,” Jessica says.
Jessica encourages parents to lean on a care team when they need more help. That may include a pediatrician, speech therapist, physical therapist, occupational therapist, behavior specialist, mental health professional or another trusted provider.
Sometimes a family needs another set of eyes to better understand what is happening and what support might work best for that child.
No parent is meant to navigate these questions alone.
Inclusive Strategies Help All Children
One of the strongest takeaways from this conversation is that many strategies used to support children with special needs also benefit all children.
Visual schedules. Routines. Structure. Loving caregivers. Predictability. Clear expectations. These strategies are good for every child. They can create calmer, clearer and more supportive environments for everyone.
Children with special needs may simply need them with more consistency, more structure or more individualized support, according to Jessica.
Listen to the Full Conversation
Supporting a child with special needs can bring challenges, but families do not have to figure it out alone. With practical tools, strong routines and the right support team, children can feel safer, understood and more ready to grow.
To hear more from Jessica Bone, watch or listen to this episode of The Kids’ Table.
